Understanding The Nature of Divorce

Getting divorced is not something most couples think about or look forward to. While every marriage is different, most couples are a story of two individuals falling in love and deciding to create a shared life together. There might be tension in establishing personal expectations and boundaries, and many couples even go so far as to negotiate prenuptial agreements, but for the most part, weddings are celebrations of loving unions being formed, with the idea that happily ever after is real and they'll grow old together.  Most couples do not go into such union with a divorce lawyer on retainer.

Unfortunately, reality is not in alignment with this expectation. The majority of marriages fail, and the two individuals wind up getting divorced. In many of these cases, the person that hires local divorce attorneys does so not to express interest in possibly ending their union but does so because, in their heart or mind, the union is already dead. Rarely does either party in a marriage file for divorce and not follow through with it. Whatever is causing them to want to end the marriage is already so bad, that there's simply no coming back for them.

In the cases of marriages with prenuptial agreements, getting divorced is often not a complicated process, as the agreements created and agreed to before the wedding generally outline how property and assets are split between the two individuals in the event of their marriage breaking up or being terminated. Still, given how much time has passed since the wedding, or in the event of situations that the prenuptial agreement did not cover, there can be quite a bit of uncertain legal terrain that has to still be resolved and possibly decided in court.

When two people get divorced, and there was a clear instigation behind it, such as fraud or adultery on the part of one of the two, a divorce can be a liberating thing for the other spouse. They can free themselves of a bad situation and move on to a happier and free stage of life. Sometimes, this is even safer for them if there was abuse in the picture.


Things get considerably complicated though if there are children in the picture. Some couples try to avoid getting divorced while kids are still growing up, but this does not often work, and sometimes the toxic home environment is worse for the children than their parents splitting up. Children also unfortunately often become pawns in the chess battle between divorcing parents, as they fight over who the favorite is, or using them in a constant tug of war.

Fights over everything from custody and visitation to parenting styles and school choices are just the tip of the iceberg here, with potentially larger fights looming over things like child support and alimony. Even in a relatively clean and easy divorce, the emotional needs of children are often neglected as the parents deal with the loss of their marriage and the consequences; psychologically.